Shattered and Burning
by Secluded Illusion
Summary: And as the paper burned in his hand, he fell, shattered and burning brightly as the world turned to ash around him, howling madly in the back of Kyuubi's mind.


**AN –** Ok, so, first story. Thoughts please?

**Shattered and Burning**

He was five when the attacks became physical. Beatings in alleyways became the norm, not the exception. Shopkeepers using force instead of bluster to remove him from shops became a standard. Ichiraku's was the exception. They didn't hit or even threaten him there. There, Naruto was their "Best Customer." It was his favorite place. Teuchi-san and Ayame-chan watched out for him, when they could. That's why it was a surprise to be attacked right around the corner from the stand. He supposed that that's what being complacent got you. He had become comfortable when near the ramen stand. He was only a child. Any safe harbor would lull him into a feeling of safety.

He learned his lesson. All harbor's have rats.

The attackers were counting on him being lulled by that temporary net of safety. They got him as he went around the corner, dragging him into the alley there. He curled into a small a target as possible and didn't fight them. He'd learned that it only made the beatings longer and far harsher if he tried to fight. Except, this one seemed to be worse than if he _had_ tried to run. The blows kept coming with no sign of letting up. He heard someone laugh at the mouth of the alleyway.

"We'll show you, you demon! Ayame-chan was fooled by you into thinking you're human! I'll save her, and kill the stupid demon while I'm at it too!" one of his attackers, the scrawnier one, growled at him.

This was when Naruto realized that they weren't going to stop.

0o0

The first thing he heard was a deep, rasping wind. It pulled and pulsed around him, yet didn't drown out the sound of water hitting water, dripping ominously in the background. He could feel the water around him, chilling him. He wondered where his attackers had left him.

Naruto opened his eyes, holding back a groan, not knowing if his attackers were nearby or not. At first, he didn't see anything, but then, a dull red glow made itself known. He sat up slowly, waiting for his injuries to pain him. Nothing.

Standing up gingerly, still waiting on the pain that wasn't coming, he glanced around. It was dark, except for that red glow, and the whole tunnel was covered in water and stone. A warm wind ruffled his clothes. He started walking to the source of the wind, the deep, rasping sound getting louder and louder, sounding more and more like a giant beast sleeping.

He found himself in front of a door, far larger than any he had seen before. Tentatively, he put a hand on it, jumping back when the massive door swung open without even a groan. A blast of hot air flew by him, smelling fetid. He knew walking through the door was a bad idea, but what other choice had he? An intense shiver racked his body at his decision to go through the door, though the hot air periodically coming from past the door kept him from being cold. Steeling himself, he walked through the door despite his misgivings.

There was nothing there.

It was just a massive, circular room, with huge bars on one side. He could see a piece of paper fluttering on the bars. Seeing nothing else in the room besides the bars and paper, he approached. He was halfway across the room when it was flooded in red light, unlike the dim, lambent glow from before. Two large, crimson orbs opened behind the bars, slits of darkness slicing each in half. Looking into those eyes, he saw worlds burning, brutal wars waged for no reason, planets crumbling upon themselves. With a cry, he flung himself backwards, shielding his face with an out flung arm. A deep, dark chuckle rumbled through the room, before a voice like _firepaindeathmadness_ shadows spoke to him.

"And so the kit makes an appearance. What do you want here, runt? Did you come here to taunt me?" It rumbled, shifting as a vulpine face revealed itself behind the bars, the sound of something massive shifting underlining it's words.

Naruto shook his head, trying to block the _firepainmadness_ voice out, holding his hands over his ears in a vain attempt. The Fox laughed at this, that deep, sinister chuckle once again echoing through the chamber.

"Do you even know where you are, runt? Do you know who I am?"

Terrified of the voice that _wouldn't go away_, Naruto fled from the chamber, fled from his own mind, that deep, mad laughter snapping at his heels.

That was the first time he met Kyuubi.

* * *

_'You know none of them care for you. You could die, and they would _cheer_ runt, they would cheer.'_

He tried to block the voice from his mind. It had been there for years now, ever since that day he woke up in the hospital. It would whisper to him, never with warning, always catching him unaware. It would feed on his deepest fears, encourage his darkest desires. It told him to _destroykillmurder _hurt those who hurt him. It laughed when it caught him thinking of harming another, praising him for it. He feared the praise more than the taunts. He would rather hear it taunt him about his deepest fears, his desire to be accepted. He would rather hear it tear down his hopes and dreams than hear it praise him for wanting to _hurtdestroykill_ harm those who harmed him. So, he acted cheerful, to counteract the voice in the back of his mind, show it that it was _wrong_, he _could_ be happy, no matter what it said, he _wasn't_ the same as it. It was a thin defense. He kept at it though. He had no idea what else he could do. And maybe, if he was happy enough and cheerful enough, the voice _would_ be wrong, and someone would see him and love him, and the _paindeathmadness_ voice would go away. Besides, today was the day he got his hitai-ate! What could go wrong?

0o0

He stood there, shocked and yet _not_, at what Mizuki-sensei was telling him. It made sense. It explained why people hated him, why they always called him demon.

But most of all, it explained the voice, which was laughing madly in the back of his head, crowing it's delight.

_'I told you runt! No one cares for a _container_ of all things! You've been hoping all this time, hoping that someone would see you, that someone would care. Foolish. And now? Now you have your own _teacher_ telling you the same thing!'_

And then, in a tone more frightening than before, if only in the sheer, false _kindness_ of it, the fox said something it hadn't said before.

_'You know kit, all you have to do is release me, and this will all go away. All the looks, the hatred. _Everyone _would see you, if only you would release me. I could tear them all down for you, get rid of all those that hurt you. All you would have to do is... let go.'_

'No! You lie!' He yelled in his mind, terrified of the fact that he _wanted_ to let the fox out. To let it _ravagetearburnslaughter_ hurt those who had hurt him.

He desperately tried to drown out the _wrongwrongwrong!_ words, not noticing what was happening right in front of his eyes, until something warm splattered on his face. Startling back to reality, he saw Iruka-sensei leaning over him, part of a shuriken jutting from his chest. Looking up at him in surprise _whywhysavememadnoonecares, _he was surprised and reassured by what he said.

'See! Someone does care! Someone sees _me_! Not you!' he shouted at the fox in his mind.

Yet, even after the whole affair was done with, the traitor captured, he couldn't shake that small voice that insisted that no one cared, that it was a lie.

That voice wasn't the fox, though the laugh that followed was.

* * *

He stood there, seeing Sasuke-teme's body on the ground, cold and lifeless. The fox was laughing in the back of his mind, gloating over the fact that the only person Naruto saw as a brother, the one person who was like him _alonenoonelost_ was dead. His only hope that he would be accepted, even with the fox in his gut died with Sasuke. Sasuke was the only one who saw past the mask, at least a little, even though he didn't see the crumbling foundations of the mask. He saw past the mask though, and that's what mattered.

And now he was dead.

So he surrendered himself to the _firemadnessburning_ voice and let the fox feed his darker urge to destroy those who had hurt him and one of his precious people.

He _burned_.

0o0

Snapped from the _burningmadnessvoice _haze he was in when the _preyenemyhurt_ hunter-nin imposter disappeared from his sights, he spun, following the scent, where he saw Kakashi-sensei's hand burst from the front of Haku's chest. A small smile was on his lips, even as the light left his eyes, happy that he had saved his precious person _asNarutohadnot_ from dying. But it was the look in Zabuza'a eyes that caught his attention the most. They looked lost, bewildered, and yet that's not what his words revealed. He wondered about this even as the mercenaries and Gato appeared. And then he understood.

So, he gave the kunai to Zabuza, and let him _burn_ because one of his precious people had died too, and if Haku, who thought himself a broken tool could be precious to someone, then Naruto, a _brokencrumblingfallingmadness_ container, could be precious to someone too.

And when Sasuke was found to be still alive, he rejoiced.

That small voice wasn't doubting anymore, and the fox's laughter was absent.

* * *

All of Neiji's talk about fate was really pissing him off. It brought back memories of the fox and similar conversations. The fox's voice had been rather scarce since the mission to Wave, which made him happy. It hadn't disappeared, but it wasn't a constant whispering anymore. Neiji's fate speech was bringing the fox to the fore however, and that was something he didn't want _ever._ When he was helpless before Neiji, when his chakra was blocked, the fox was at the fore, taunting and teasing, as vicious and uncaring as ever.

_'Pah. You can't win against one little genin? You're pathetic. You'll never be able to protect your "precious people" with this puny bit of power you have. Let me loose! I'll tear him apart for harming that chit that you were so upset about. Together, we'll show him his "fate." Just let me loose!' _

The fox howled the last bit, power underlying his words, tugging at Naruto, showing him some of what lay hidden. Tired of both the fox and Neiji, he tugged back on the power, and was rewarded with the demon's power supporting his own, without the haze that had happened with Haku. Time to show Neiji that "fate" doesn't matter, and to show the fox that he doesn't need to let him loose to win, even if he was using it's _firepoisonburning_ power.

0o0

He was the only one left to take down Garaa, and he _would_ do it. He had to protect his precious people, his teammates. He had to protect the village. And yet, when he met Garaa's eyes, it was all he could do to hit him. He saw the same _painmadnesslostlostlost_ loneliness in his eyes that he hid behind his mask, the same desperate need for acknowledgement. He understood instinctively what the tattoo on Garaa's forehead meant.

So, when Garaa unleashed Shukaku against him, he understood. He used Kyuubi against Shukaku. It was the only way to beat him. He _had _to use the fox's _firepoisonburning_ power. At least, that's what he told himself.

In the back of his mind, Kyuubi howled and laughed.

* * *

Sasuke had left. His brother was gone, all without a word. And when Sakura-chan pleaded with him to bring him back, he promised.

The whole time, Kyuubi whispered in the back of his mind.

0o0

The Old Man was dead. Kakashi-sensei had handed him off to another instructor, as if he didn't matter, Sakura only saw Sasuke, and people on the streets still hated him for being born.

So, when Sasuke, his _brother_, denied him and put a Chidori through his chest, he knew Kyuubi was right.

No one wanted him. No one ever had. He had only been deluding himself. His mask shattered as a pain far worse than any physical pain wracked his body.

And so he fell, twisting and turning, _burning_ through his own mind, running from a pain that would always exist.

0o0

Deep in the recesses of his mind, he walked up to the Kyuubi's prison and admitted defeat. Kyuubi crooned to him, singing songs of _hatepainburnigvengeance_ madness. Looking into Kyuubi's eyes, he saw worlds burn and senseless wars. He saw death with no meaning and people fleeing in fear.

But most of all, he saw it _end._

And he said yes.

And as the paper disintegrated in his hand, he fell, shattered and burning brightly as the world turned to ash around him, howling madly in the back of Kyuubi's mind.


End file.
